SOS
Breathe first. Then speak.
Say it in the voice of:
What to say right now · Emotion Coaching
(Gently block their hand) "I won't let you hit. You are SO mad that I said no! It's okay to be mad, and I'm going to keep both of our bodies safe."
Your body first
Unclench your jaw. Remind yourself: 'My child is dysregulated, not dangerous. I am the steady one here.'
Afterwards
Once calm: 'You were really frustrated earlier. Next time your hands feel like hitting, what can we stomp or squeeze instead?'
Avoid
Don't force an immediate 'Say sorry!' while they're still flooded. Children understand an apology as a way to make the other person feel better, and that meaning gets lost when it's extracted mid-meltdown. Wait until they're calm to practice repair.
If you're afraid you might hurt yourself or your child, put your child somewhere safe and call or text 988 (US). Outside the US, call your local emergency number.