Sources

Ainsworth MDS, Blehar MC, Waters E, Wall S (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation Lawrence Erlbaum (book).

Introduced the Strange Situation and the secure, avoidant and resistant patterns; infants whose mothers had been sensitive and responsive at home more often used them as a secure base for exploring and were readily comforted on reunion.

Longitudinal home observation plus laboratory Strange Situation procedure · Baltimore sample of 26 infant-mother pairs over the first year, plus Strange Situation samples

Used in: Always Give a Confident 10-Second Goodbye

Assor A, Roth G, Deci EL (2004). The emotional costs of parents' conditional regard: a self-determination theory analysis Journal of Personality.

Love that felt conditional on achievement or good behavior predicted poorer well-being, fluctuating self-esteem and resentment of parents; it got the behavior, at an emotional cost. Mothers raised this way were more likely to be seen as doing it to their own daughters.

Two survey studies, one spanning three generations · Mothers, their parents' practices as recalled, and college-age children

Barber BK (1996). Parental psychological control: revisiting a neglected construct Child Development.

Defined psychological control (guilt induction, love withdrawal, invalidating feelings) as distinct from behavioral control, and linked it to adolescents' depression and other internalizing problems.

Measurement development with survey samples · Adolescent samples

Baumrind D (1966). Effects of authoritative parental control on child behavior Child Development.

Distinguished authoritative parenting (firm, reasoned limits with warmth and the child's view heard) from authoritarian (obedience as a value, little explanation) and permissive styles; the framework most later parenting research is built on.

Theoretical paper · Theory

Bell SM, Ainsworth MDS (1972). Infant crying and maternal responsiveness Child Development.

Mothers who responded promptly to crying in the early months had infants who cried less, and used other ways of communicating more, by the end of the first year.

Longitudinal home observation · 26 infant-mother pairs followed through the first year

Used in: Answer Newborn Cries Quickly, Soothe With Skin-to-Skin Contact, Narrate When You Leave the Room, Protect Their Turn When They Shout 'Mine!', Skip Logic Lectures When They're Hungry, Fill Their Cup With 10 Minutes of Special Time and 4 more guides

Bernier A, Carlson SM, Whipple N (2010). From external regulation to self-regulation: early parenting precursors of young children's executive functioning Child Development.

Of three parenting qualities observed at 12–15 months (sensitivity, mind-mindedness, autonomy support), autonomy support was the strongest predictor of toddlers' executive functioning at 18 and 26 months, independent of the child's general cognitive ability and the mother's education.

Prospective longitudinal study · 80 mother-infant pairs

Used in: Offer Two Choices Instead of Direct Orders, Nudge Toys Closer Instead of Handing Them Over, Respect the Head-Turn When Starting Solids, Keep Two Bites on the Tray to Curb Dropping, Name Whatever Your Baby Points To, Give Toddlers a Child-Sized Cloth to Help and 9 more guides

Birch LL, Marlin DW (1982). I don't like it; I never tried it: Effects of exposure on two-year-old children's food preferences Appetite.

Two-year-olds' liking for a new food rose with the number of times they had been exposed to it; familiarity, not persuasion, drove preference.

Experiment · Two-year-olds

Blair C, Raver CC (2015). School readiness and self-regulation: a developmental psychobiological approach Annual Review of Psychology.

Self-regulation, including executive functions and the stress response, is central to school readiness and is shaped by early experience and relationships.

Narrative review · Review

Used in: Prioritize Self-Regulation Over Flashcard Drills

Brody GH (1998). Sibling relationship quality: its causes and consequences Annual Review of Psychology.

Reviews how family processes, including parents treating siblings differently, shape sibling relationship quality, and argues a mix of warm and conflicted sibling interaction supports development.

Narrative review · Review

Brownell CA, Iesue SS, Nichols SR, Svetlova M (2013). Mine or yours? Development of sharing in toddlers in relation to ownership understanding Child Development.

Two-year-olds shared toys and food with an adult playmate readily and spontaneously; 18-month-olds shared only after repeated, explicit cues. Children who understood ownership shared more, independent of age and language ability.

Cross-sectional laboratory study · 51 children aged 18 and 24 months

Used in: Use 'Long Turns' Instead of Forced Sharing

Brummelman E, Thomaes S, Nelemans SA, Orobio de Castro B, Overbeek G, Bushman BJ (2015). Origins of narcissism in children Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS).

In 7–12-year-olds followed over 18 months, parental overvaluation predicted later narcissism while parental warmth predicted self-esteem; the two are distinct. Younger children were not studied.

Four-wave prospective longitudinal study · 565 children aged 7–12 and their parents

Used in: Praise the Effort, Not 'Being Smart', Describe Their Artwork Instead of Grading It

Chernyak N, Kushnir T (2013). Giving preschoolers choice increases sharing behavior Psychological Science.

Preschoolers who made a costly choice to share with a puppet later shared more with a new character than children who were required to share or whose sharing cost them nothing.

Laboratory experiments · Preschool-age children, two experiments

Used in: Use 'Long Turns' Instead of Forced Sharing

Council on Communications and Media (American Academy of Pediatrics) (2016). Media and Young Minds Pediatrics.

For children 2–5, the AAP recommends limiting screen use to about an hour a day of high-quality programming, co-viewing so adults can help children apply what they see, keeping consistent limits, and not using media as the main way to calm a child.

Clinical policy statement · Guideline (ages 0–5)

Used in: End Screens at Story Breaks, Not Mid-Scene, Let Your Child Press the Off Button After TV

Crockenberg S, Litman C (1990). Autonomy as competence in 2-year-olds: Maternal correlates of child defiance, compliance, and self-assertion Developmental Psychology.

Mothers who paired control with guidance (explanations, suggestions) saw the most compliance and the least defiance; power-assertive control predicted defiance.

Observational study (laboratory and home) · 95 mothers and their 2-year-olds

Used in: Offer Two Choices Instead of Direct Orders, Nudge Toys Closer Instead of Handing Them Over, Respect the Head-Turn When Starting Solids, Keep Two Bites on the Tray to Curb Dropping, Name Whatever Your Baby Points To, Give Toddlers a Child-Sized Cloth to Help and 9 more guides

Cummings EM, Davies PT (2002). Effects of marital conflict on children: recent advances and emerging themes in process-oriented research Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.

Children's outcomes depend less on whether parents argue than on how: hostile, unresolved or withdrawn conflict is the most distressing for children, and conflict that is resolved, or explained to them, much less so.

Narrative review · Review

Diamond A (2013). Executive functions Annual Review of Psychology.

Executive functions (inhibition, working memory, cognitive flexibility) develop gradually through childhood, can be improved with practice, and are impaired by stress, lack of sleep, loneliness and lack of exercise.

Narrative review · Review

Used in: Offer Two Choices Instead of Direct Orders, Prioritize Self-Regulation Over Flashcard Drills

Fangupo LJ, Heath AM, Williams SM, et al. (2016). A Baby-Led Approach to Eating Solids and Risk of Choking Pediatrics.

Infants following a baby-led approach modified for safety did not choke more often than spoon-fed controls, but infants in both groups were frequently offered foods that pose a choking risk.

Randomized controlled trial (BLISS safety outcomes) · 206 infants, choking and gagging reported to 12 months

Used in: Let Fullness Cues Lead at Mealtime

Galloway AT, Fiorito LM, Francis LA, Birch LL (2006). 'Finish your soup': counterproductive effects of pressuring children to eat on intake and affect Appetite.

Preschoolers ate more of a healthy food, and made far fewer negative comments about it, when they were not pressured to finish it.

Repeated-measures experiment · Preschoolers

Gershoff ET, Grogan-Kaylor A (2016). Spanking and child outcomes: Old controversies and new meta-analyses Journal of Family Psychology.

Spanking was linked to worse outcomes on 13 of 17 measures, including more aggression and antisocial behavior and lower moral internalization, and was not linked to better compliance; effect sizes were similar in direction to those for physical abuse.

Meta-analysis (75 studies, 111 effect sizes) · 160,927 children

Used in: Block the Hit, Name the Feeling, Redirect Curious Hands Instead of Slapping, Open Grabbing Hands Gently & Model Soft Touch, Stay Within Arm's Reach to Block Reactive Biting, Catch the Hand Calmly, Name the Frustration, Redirect Indoor Throwing to Soft Targets and 7 more guides

Gilkerson J, Richards JA, Warren SF, Oller DK, Russo R, Vohr B (2018). Language Experience in the Second Year of Life and Language Outcomes in Late Childhood Pediatrics.

Adult-child conversational turns recorded at 18–24 months predicted language and cognitive scores a decade later, more strongly than the sheer number of adult words heard.

Prospective longitudinal study with day-long home audio recordings · 146 children recorded at 2–36 months, followed to 9–14 years

Used in: Echo Your Baby's Coos Back to Them, Hold Up Two Visible Options to Prevent Meltdowns, Name 'Disappointment' Underneath the Anger, Answer 'Why?' Chains With 'What Do You Think?', Describe Their Artwork Instead of Grading It, Normalize Mistakes When Drawings Go Crooked and 2 more guides

Gottman JM, Katz LF, Hooven C (1996). Parental meta-emotion philosophy and the emotional life of families: Theoretical models and preliminary data Journal of Family Psychology.

Introduced 'emotion coaching' versus 'emotion dismissing' as parental philosophies about feelings; parents who acknowledged and coached their children's emotions had children who later showed better emotional regulation and social outcomes. Preliminary data from a modest sample.

Longitudinal family study (theory and preliminary data) · Families with preschool-age children, followed into middle childhood

Gunderson EA, Gripshover SJ, Romero C, Dweck CS, Goldin-Meadow S, Levine SC (2013). Parent praise to 1- to 3-year-olds predicts children's motivational frameworks 5 years later Child Development.

Parents' spontaneous praise of effort when children were 14–38 months predicted, at age 7–8, how strongly the children believed ability can grow and enjoyed challenges; early praise of inherent traits did not predict fixed-ability beliefs in this sample.

Prospective longitudinal study with home observation · 53 children observed at 14, 26 and 38 months

Used in: Praise the Effort, Not 'Being Smart', Echo Your Baby's Coos Back to Them, Hold Up Two Visible Options to Prevent Meltdowns, Name 'Disappointment' Underneath the Anger, Answer 'Why?' Chains With 'What Do You Think?', Describe Their Artwork Instead of Grading It and 3 more guides

Gunnar MR, Donzella B (2002). Social regulation of the cortisol levels in early human development Psychoneuroendocrinology.

By about 12 months, caregivers come to buffer infants' cortisol responses to stress; cortisol activity in infants and toddlers is sensitive to the quality of care they receive, most of all for temperamentally reactive children.

Narrative review · Review of infant and toddler cortisol studies

Used in: Always Give a Confident 10-Second Goodbye, Soothe With Skin-to-Skin Contact, Narrate When You Leave the Room, Protect Their Turn When They Shout 'Mine!', Skip Logic Lectures When They're Hungry, Fill Their Cup With 10 Minutes of Special Time and 4 more guides

Hooper LM (2007). The application of attachment theory and family systems theory to the phenomena of parentification The Family Journal.

Describes parentification, a child taking on a parent's emotional or practical role, through attachment and family-systems theory, and why it can burden the child even when it looks like maturity.

Theoretical article · Theory

Jenkins JM, Rasbash J, O'Connor TG (2003). The role of the shared family context in differential parenting Developmental Psychology.

Parents treating siblings differently was more common under family stress (lower income, marital dissatisfaction, larger families, single parenthood), so it is partly a product of strain on the parent rather than only of the children.

Population survey with multilevel modelling · 8,476 children in 3,762 Canadian families

Kochanska G, Aksan N (1995). Mother-child mutually positive affect, the quality of child compliance to requests and prohibitions, and maternal control as correlates of early internalization Child Development.

Young children's wholehearted 'committed' compliance, the kind that predicted following rules when no one was watching, was linked to shared positive emotion with the mother and gentle guidance; forceful control was linked to grudging, situational compliance.

Observational study · Toddlers and preschoolers with their mothers

Lieberman MD, Eisenberger NI, Crockett MJ, Tom SM, Pfeifer JH, Way BM (2007). Putting feelings into words: affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli Psychological Science.

In adults, putting a feeling into words reduced amygdala response to negative images and increased right ventrolateral prefrontal activity; the two were inversely related. The developmental extension to toddlers is inferred, not tested here.

fMRI experiment · 30 adults

Used in: Block the Hit, Name the Feeling, Redirect Curious Hands Instead of Slapping, Open Grabbing Hands Gently & Model Soft Touch, Stay Within Arm's Reach to Block Reactive Biting, Catch the Hand Calmly, Name the Frustration, Redirect Indoor Throwing to Soft Targets and 7 more guides

Lillard A, Else-Quest N (2006). The early years. Evaluating Montessori education Science.

Five-year-olds in a public Montessori program outperformed lottery-loser controls on executive function, reading, math, and social problem-solving; the design cannot say which classroom features were responsible.

Natural experiment (lottery-based comparison) · 112 children (59 Montessori, 53 controls)

Used in: Nudge Toys Closer Instead of Handing Them Over, Respect the Head-Turn When Starting Solids, Keep Two Bites on the Tray to Curb Dropping, Name Whatever Your Baby Points To, Give Toddlers a Child-Sized Cloth to Help, Serve One 'Safe Food' With Zero Pressure and 8 more guides

Mesman J, van IJzendoorn MH, Bakermans-Kranenburg MJ (2009). The many faces of the Still-Face Paradigm: A review and meta-analysis Developmental Review.

Across decades of replications, infants respond to a suddenly unresponsive parent with less positive affect and gaze and more negative affect, and the effect carries into the reunion; the paradigm is robust.

Review and meta-analysis · Still-face studies published 1978–2008

Used in: Soothe With Skin-to-Skin Contact, Narrate When You Leave the Room, Protect Their Turn When They Shout 'Mine!', Skip Logic Lectures When They're Hungry, Fill Their Cup With 10 Minutes of Special Time, Keep Preschool Drop-Off Rituals Under 30 Seconds and 3 more guides

Mindell JA, Kuhn B, Lewin DS, Meltzer LJ, Sadeh A (2006). Behavioral treatment of bedtime problems and night wakings in infants and young children Sleep.

Behavioral approaches to bedtime problems and night wakings, including positive bedtime routines and parent education, produced clinically significant improvement in the large majority of studies reviewed.

Systematic review (American Academy of Sleep Medicine task force) · 52 treatment studies

Used in: Dim the Room for Evening Fussiness, Pause 30 Seconds Before Resettling Naps, Use Quiet Crib Rest During the 1-Nap Shift, Use Action Warnings Instead of '5 More Minutes', Use a Bedtime Pass for Curtain Calls, Replace Dropped Naps With Quiet Audio Rest and 3 more guides

Mindell JA, Li AM, Sadeh A, Kwon R, Goh DYT (2015). Bedtime routines for young children: a dose-dependent association with sleep outcomes Sleep.

The more nights a week a child had a bedtime routine, the earlier the bedtime, the shorter the time to fall asleep, the fewer the night wakings and the longer the sleep, in a dose-dependent pattern.

Cross-sectional survey across 14 countries · 10,085 mothers of children aged 0–5

Used in: End Bedtime Stalling with a 2-Minute Check-In, Dim the Room for Evening Fussiness, Pause 30 Seconds Before Resettling Naps, Use Quiet Crib Rest During the 1-Nap Shift, Use Action Warnings Instead of '5 More Minutes', Use a Bedtime Pass for Curtain Calls and 4 more guides

Mindell JA, Telofski LS, Wiegand B, Kurtz ES (2009). A nightly bedtime routine: impact on sleep in young children and maternal mood Sleep.

A consistent nightly bedtime routine, on its own, shortened time to fall asleep, reduced the number and length of night wakings, and improved mothers' mood within two weeks; controls did not change.

Randomized controlled trial · 405 mothers and their 7–36-month-olds

Used in: End Bedtime Stalling with a 2-Minute Check-In, Dim the Room for Evening Fussiness, Pause 30 Seconds Before Resettling Naps, Use Quiet Crib Rest During the 1-Nap Shift, Use Action Warnings Instead of '5 More Minutes', Use a Bedtime Pass for Curtain Calls and 4 more guides

Moore ER, Bergman N, Anderson GC, Medley N (2016). Early skin-to-skin contact for mothers and their healthy newborn infants Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews.

Early skin-to-skin contact after birth increased breastfeeding and was associated with better cardio-respiratory stability and blood glucose in newborns than standard care; the evidence quality was rated low to moderate.

Cochrane systematic review and meta-analysis · 46 randomized trials, 3,850 women and their healthy newborns

Used in: Soothe With Skin-to-Skin Contact

Mueller CM, Dweck CS (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children's motivation and performance Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Among fifth graders, praise for intelligence (versus effort) led to less persistence, less enjoyment and worse performance after a failure, and to seeing ability as fixed. The age group is older than this guide's; the principle is extended by Gunderson 2013.

Six experiments · 412 fifth graders

Used in: Praise the Effort, Not 'Being Smart'

Munzer TG, Miller AL, Weeks HM, Kaciroti N, Radesky J (2019). Differences in Parent-Toddler Interactions With Electronic Versus Print Books Pediatrics.

Parents and toddlers talked less, and collaborated less, with electronic books than with print books, and more of the talk was about the device itself rather than the story.

Counterbalanced within-subjects laboratory study · 37 parent-toddler pairs

Used in: End Screens at Story Breaks, Not Mid-Scene

Murray L, Creswell C, Cooper PJ (2009). The development of anxiety disorders in childhood: an integrative review Psychological Medicine.

Child anxiety reflects both inherited vulnerability and environment; parents, especially anxious parents, can pass on fears through modelling, threat information and overprotection, and some of that overprotection is drawn out by the child's own temperament.

Integrative review · Review

Pinquart M (2017). Associations of parenting dimensions and styles with externalizing problems of children and adolescents: An updated meta-analysis Developmental Psychology.

Warmth, consistent behavioral limits, autonomy granting and authoritative parenting were linked to fewer behavior problems; harsh control, psychological control, authoritarian, permissive and neglectful parenting to more. Effects were small, and some ran in both directions.

Meta-analysis · 1,435 studies

Romeo RR, Leonard JA, Robinson ST, West MR, Mackey AP, Rowe ML, Gabrieli JDE (2018). Beyond the 30-Million-Word Gap: Children's Conversational Exposure Is Associated With Language-Related Brain Function Psychological Science.

In 4–6-year-olds, more back-and-forth conversational turns with adults, independent of family income and total words heard, predicted greater activation in Broca's area, which in turn explained the children's verbal skill.

Home audio recording plus fMRI · 36 children aged 4–6

Used in: Echo Your Baby's Coos Back to Them, Hold Up Two Visible Options to Prevent Meltdowns, Name 'Disappointment' Underneath the Anger, Answer 'Why?' Chains With 'What Do You Think?', Describe Their Artwork Instead of Grading It, Normalize Mistakes When Drawings Go Crooked and 2 more guides

Ross H, Conant C, Vickar M (2011). Property rights and the resolution of social conflict New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development.

In disputes over toys, young children gave priority to ownership over current possession, whereas their parents tended not to back the owner's claim.

Observational studies of sibling and peer conflict · Sibling and peer disputes observed at home and in the laboratory

Used in: Use 'Long Turns' Instead of Forced Sharing

Sandseter EBH, Kennair LEO (2011). Children's risky play from an evolutionary perspective: the anti-phobic effects of thrilling experiences Evolutionary Psychology.

Argues that age-appropriate risky play (heights, speed, exploring alone) lets children master normal early fears, and that preventing it may leave fears in place. A theoretical proposal, not a trial.

Theoretical article · Theory

Smith CE, Chen D, Harris PL (2010). When the happy victimizer says sorry: Children's understanding of apology and emotion British Journal of Developmental Psychology.

When a wrongdoer apologized, 4- to 9-year-olds expected the victim to feel better and the wrongdoer to feel worse, and the effect held even when the word 'sorry' was removed; young children grasp apology as emotional repair, not as a formula.

Two story-vignette studies · Children aged 4–9

Used in: Teach Action Repair Instead of Forced 'Sorrys'

Talwar V, Lee K (2008). Social and cognitive correlates of children's lying behavior Child Development.

Most children peeked at a forbidden toy and then denied it. Whether a child lied was related to first-order theory of mind and inhibitory control; whether they could keep the lie consistent was related to second-order belief understanding. Lying tracked cognitive development.

Laboratory study (temptation-resistance paradigm) · Children aged 3–8

Used in: Don't Ask Trap Questions When You Know the Truth

Taylor RW, Williams SM, Fangupo LJ, et al. (2017). Effect of a Baby-Led Approach to Complementary Feeding on Infant Growth and Overweight: A Randomized Clinical Trial JAMA Pediatrics.

A baby-led approach to solids did not produce a lower BMI than spoon-feeding at 12 or 24 months. At 12 months, baby-led infants were reported as less fussy about food and enjoying it more; at 24 months they showed slightly lower satiety responsiveness.

Randomized controlled trial (BLISS) · 206 infants in Dunedin, New Zealand, followed to 24 months

Used in: Let Fullness Cues Lead at Mealtime

Tronick E, Als H, Adamson L, Wise S, Brazelton TB (1978). The infant's response to entrapment between contradictory messages in face-to-face interaction Journal of the American Academy of Child Psychiatry.

When a mother held a still, unresponsive face, her infant tried to re-engage her, then turned away and became distressed: infants are active partners in interaction, not passive recipients of care.

Laboratory observation (the original still-face study) · Small laboratory sample of young infants; replicated extensively since

Used in: Answer Newborn Cries Quickly

Tronick EZ, Cohn JF (1989). Infant-mother face-to-face interaction: age and gender differences in coordination and the occurrence of miscoordination Child Development.

The proportion of time mothers and infants were behaviorally coordinated was small, though it grew with age; the authors argue interaction is better described by its movement between coordinated and miscoordinated states than by how coordinated it is.

Micro-analytic observational study · 54 mother-infant pairs observed at 3, 6 and 9 months

Used in: Answer Newborn Cries Quickly, Soothe With Skin-to-Skin Contact, Narrate When You Leave the Room, Protect Their Turn When They Shout 'Mine!', Skip Logic Lectures When They're Hungry, Fill Their Cup With 10 Minutes of Special Time and 4 more guides

Wang MT, Kenny S (2014). Longitudinal links between fathers' and mothers' harsh verbal discipline and adolescents' conduct problems and depressive symptoms Child Development.

Harsh verbal discipline (shouting, cursing, insults) by either parent at 13 predicted increases in conduct problems and depressive symptoms a year later, and parental warmth did not cancel the effect. Studied in adolescents, not young children.

Longitudinal cohort (cross-lagged) · 976 two-parent families, children aged 13–14

Zubler JM, Wiggins LD, Macias MM, et al. (2022). Evidence-Informed Milestones for Developmental Surveillance Tools Pediatrics.

Revised the CDC 'Learn the Signs. Act Early.' milestones to the ages at which at least 75% of children are expected to show each skill, so that a missing milestone is a reason to act rather than wait.

Expert consensus with literature review (AAP and CDC) · Milestone checklists for 2 months to 5 years

Used in: Soothe With Skin-to-Skin Contact, Dim the Room for Evening Fussiness, Echo Your Baby's Coos Back to Them, Pause 30 Seconds Before Resettling Naps, Nudge Toys Closer Instead of Handing Them Over, Respect the Head-Turn When Starting Solids and 46 more guides