Sleep & Daily Transitions · 5–13 months

Expect Night Waking Through the First Year

Many healthy babies still wake at night at 6 and 12 months. Whether to sleep-train is your choice: the best follow-up study found no lasting harm and no lasting benefit.

The moment

It's 2:40 a.m. and your eight-month-old is up again. A friend's baby the same age 'sleeps twelve hours', and you lie there wondering what you've done wrong and whether you're harming them either way.

What to say

Four ways to say it. Research doesn't rank these against each other, so pick the one that sounds like you.

Emotion Coaching · Go in, keep it dim and brief

(Whispering:) "You woke up and it's dark. I'm here. … It's still night. Back to sleep, love."

You answer the feeling and keep the night boring.

Montessori / Respectful · Pause at the door and watch first

(Wait and listen for a minute. Still calling:) "I hear you. I'm going to lay you back down. … Goodnight."

Observation first gives them room to resettle if they can.

Connection First · Same short words every waking

"It's sleepy time. I love you. I'll see you in the morning." (Hand on their back for a moment, then out.)

Kind and consistent: the same thing each time, said warmly.

Choices & Logic · Agree the plan in daylight, with whoever shares the nights

(At dinner, to your partner:) "I can't keep doing every waking. Can we pick one plan and try it for a week? You take before one, I take after."

The decision gets made when you're both awake, and then you stick to it.

What's going on

Sleeping in one long block arrives at different ages for different babies. Waking and calling for you at this age is ordinary, not a sign that something has gone wrong with them or with you.

What it looks like day to day

One or more wakings a night, sometimes after a run of good nights, and a parent comparing notes with other families.

What the research supports

In a cohort of 388 babies, between 28% and 57% were not sleeping through the night at 6 and 12 months, depending on whether 'through' meant six or eight hours; sleeping through was not related to the child's development, then or at age 3, or to the mother's mood (Pennestri 2018). In a randomized trial, families offered behavioral sleep techniques at 8–10 months looked no different at age 6 from families who weren't: no harm to the child's emotional health or closeness with the parent, and no lasting benefit (Price 2012). If your baby snores heavily, struggles to breathe or isn't gaining weight, that's a question for your pediatrician.

Where it's your call

Going to them every time, waiting a few minutes first, or a structured sleep-training plan are all choices loving parents make. The research doesn't say one of them makes a better childhood. Your own sleep counts in the decision.

Sources

Each one links to the paper. How we check them is on the sources page.

Pennestri MH et al. (2018) · Pediatrics
Depending on the definition (6 or 8 hours unbroken) and the age (6 or 12 months), between 28% and 57% of infants did not sleep through the night. Sleeping through was not associated with mental or psychomotor development, at the time or at 36 months, or with maternal mood.
Longitudinal cohort (maternal report) · 388 infants assessed at 6 and 12 months
PubMed(opens in a new tab)
Price AM et al. (2012) · Pediatrics
Families offered behavioral sleep techniques when their infants were 8–10 months old did not differ from control families at age 6 on the child's emotional and behavioral health, sleep, stress, or closeness with the parent, or on the mother's mental health. No lasting harm and no lasting benefit was found.
Five-year follow-up of a cluster-randomized trial · 225 children followed to age 6 (of 326 with sleep problems at 7 months)
PubMed(opens in a new tab)

Hard moments land differently depending on how you were raised.

In the app, this guide comes with a short note for the pattern you'd like to leave behind, such as calm over anger, emotion validation, direct repair over silence and 9 more, and a new guide matched to your child's exact week. Free, no account, and nothing leaves your phone.

Get this matched to your child

This guide is parenting education, not medical advice. The scripts are examples to adapt, not tested treatments. If you're worried about your child's health or development, talk to your pediatrician.